Hard to say Good-bye

I'll admit it.  I love my fat body.  Yes I love every ounce and inch of the body I have right now.   
I'm learning to accept me  today just as I am.  I'm not going to beat myself up over what I put into my mouth yesterday because it's over and I can't un-eat anything.
BUT I can work on today and most importantly this very minute.   Every day I have choices to make.  I can choose to wear a dress or pants to work.  I can choose to curl my hair or let it be straight.  I can choose to eat this apple or not. I can choose to open the candy wrapper of the candy bar on my desk or not.  All choices are mine and only mine. 
Options are great to have don't you think?  I like options.  I like information too. I've tried to educate myself in the last few months.  I've learned about Gluten and what it does to my body.  I've had a few nasty run ins with gluten that left me with terrible heartburn brought on by it.  Gluten is in just about everything we eat, at least in the processed foods.  Fresh foods like fruits and vegetables are gluten free. AMEN!
I've never had heartburn from an apple or an avocado.  
I learned I am Gluten Intolerant and have avoided gluten in foods. Unfortunately foods processed without gluten usually have sugar as a main ingredient.  Gluten free does not mean taste free, but manufacturers think sugar is necessary to make a food taste better.  It's difficult to avoid sugar if something is gluten free and comes from a box on the grocery shelf (frozen foods included).
So what do I do when I don't feel like cooking a meal at home?  I've started to just avoid eating. When I do eat, I over eat the processed foods with added sugar.  Vicious cycle begins and ends with bad choices.
So, how do I start making better choices?  I need to stop saying the word DIET.  It's like a dirty word and to most people it means DEPRIVATION.  It says  I CAN'T HAVE _____.  How about saying I'd like to have ____ and the choice is up to me?  I like the option of choices.  I want to change my relationship with food and eating to a healthy living relationship.  I'd like to have the healthy choices become automatic and natural.
Every day I have hundreds of choices to make from what I wear to what I eat.   An alcoholic knows they are one drink away from becoming a drinker again.  A drug addict knows they are one drug away from addiction again. So it is with a food addiction.  Yes, we need food to live, but we don't need high sugar, high fat and high salt foods to survive.  Making healthy choices will help me avoid going back to the sugar, fat and salt addiction I'm living with now.
I'm left questioning whether giving or buying for someone else those foods which I would not choose for myself.  Do I enable their unhealthy choices or give them the healthy choices I make for me?
If my friends or family suddenly start getting fruit baskets and gluten free foods from me they will know I LOVE them enough to not give them poisonous foods.  I'd like to have my friends and family around longer to enjoy life with me.

Click it into place and let's get this going....

I’ve got all my ducks in a row. I’ve placed all my cards on the table.

I’ll do it next week.

I’ve got this thing!!!!!

No more I’ll start it tomorrow.  I’m doing it today.  WOW has it been a crazy, exhausting two weeks for me.

I started the WLC (weight loss challenge) and the first week I lost 2 pounds. I was shocked.  I just changed how much protein I was eating each day and boom I dropped 2.

I’ll take that and keep right on chewing my protein at every meal.

It’s getting easier to think about what I’m eating and why I should eat it.  Every day I make a protein smoothie using my Pro7ein powder and frozen fruit.  One scoop is 34 grams of protein.  I’m trying to add it in at the end of the day since I’m working out again like I used to do. 

I get my Pro7ein from Nutri Shop  at The Shops at West End. Here's the link:

https://www.facebook.com/NutriShopMN

I’m training twice a week and loving how I feel.  I have more energy and stamina.  I’m getting back into shape physically and mentally as well.

My work outs have changed to be more strength and muscle building while my ankle/foot continues to heal.  Six months since my surgery and I’m finally walking without a limp.

I've had quite a bit of arthritis pain in my fingers and wrists.  It's like a needle being jammed between the joints OUCH!  My thumb joints have started to change so when I'm using any hand weights or the machines I feel the sting.

I’ve met some great people too who are in my WLC class.  One of the ladies went with me to the gym and I showed her how to work the equipment she didn’t know how to use.  It felt good to help someone else out like that.  I did 3,000 steps on the treadmill which was huge since my foot has been hurting so much.   New shoes made all the difference.  I bought Ryka shoes and the fit is amazing.

I fought a few stomach and flu bugs so I was able to take care of my Grandson Riley when he got sick.  Poor little guy had been throwing up and was running a fever too.  But a few nights with Grandma and he was back to normal a.k.a. chattering endlessly.  The next day he started potty training FINALLY.  Boy is he one stubborn little guy.

My Pearly Girl is doing so much better.  Every day I see her come out of her shell a little more.  She is content and knows she’s loved.  She sees someone grab her leash and she walks right over to the door to wait.

I'll sleep right here zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 Please visit the extremely funny, gorgeous and honest Kristen Johnston at her website.  She wrote her own tell all about her journey to hell and back in the book Guts.

http://www.gutsthebook.com/home.html

Out of the BOOT

After 5 LONG months of wearing that walking boot I am finally done with the thing!
I feel as though I have been set free from a foot prison.  No more walking funny.  Do you have any idea how out of alignment your hips and back can become from wearing one of those walking boots(cast)?  Well, it's a lot.
I began Physical Therapy in December to learn how to walk on my newly screwed and remodeled foot. I have noticed a big difference in how I walk and how it feels a month later.  I'll never regret doing PT, but I would never have the foot surgery again.  The Arthritis pain I think I can live with now. My hands hurt a lot right now with this cold weather. I just take my pain medicine and go on with my day.
The Rheumatologist suggested I move to Arizona or Florida.  I said what about Jamaica and he said that would be fine too just as long as it's a warm climate.   
I got myself back on track with Weight Watchers and dropped 3.4 pounds in two weeks. I got very discouraged after being sick with the norovirus and only losing the 1.4 pounds and stopped tracking.  Oh boy was that a dumb move on my part.  
Tonight I start a new chapter as in a challenge to myself.  I signed up for the Community Weight Loss Challenge thru the Hopkins Community Ed program. Runs 1/23/13 to 3/13/13.  I hired a Person Trainer again and signed up for two thirty minute sessions a week.  The first session with Jessica I felt for 5 days afterward.  This will be GREAT!!!
I still can't do more than 10 minutes on the treadmill, but I can use the recumbent bike and elliptical.
Now that all those nasty sick bugs have left my body I can focus on the weight loss and reaching a goal.  My goal is to finish all my half started sewing projects. I did successfully finish my Grandson's car seat cover. 

     

I promised a friend I would sew the dress she is wearing for her vow renewal in Jamaica in 70+ days. So that's a lot of sewing to get done, but I can't eat while I sew so that will help me a lot too.
I'm making outfits for myself to wear as well and I would like them in a smaller size.





We have the sweetest little dog, I mentioned her last blog entry after our beloved Captain died. 

Pearl is so precious and quite the princess. She was attacked at a dog park almost a month ago.  I have never been so scared nor so pissed at a dog owner.  We didn't stay to find out who owned the dog, but I will stalk that park until I find that beast.  
Pearl only suffered a puncture wound, but she's now too frightened to be at the dog park even in the small dog area.   
She made the cutest Christmas dog though. 

My challenge to all of you is to find something ANYTHING that you want so badly you just have to have it.  Get to your goal and show yourself how strong you can be today!