Friday, November 1, 2013

Hard to say Good-bye

I'll admit it.  I love my fat body.  Yes I love every ounce and inch of the body I have right now.   
I'm learning to accept me  today just as I am.  I'm not going to beat myself up over what I put into my mouth yesterday because it's over and I can't un-eat anything.
BUT I can work on today and most importantly this very minute.   Every day I have choices to make.  I can choose to wear a dress or pants to work.  I can choose to curl my hair or let it be straight.  I can choose to eat this apple or not. I can choose to open the candy wrapper of the candy bar on my desk or not.  All choices are mine and only mine. 
Options are great to have don't you think?  I like options.  I like information too. I've tried to educate myself in the last few months.  I've learned about Gluten and what it does to my body.  I've had a few nasty run ins with gluten that left me with terrible heartburn brought on by it.  Gluten is in just about everything we eat, at least in the processed foods.  Fresh foods like fruits and vegetables are gluten free. AMEN!
I've never had heartburn from an apple or an avocado.  
I learned I am Gluten Intolerant and have avoided gluten in foods. Unfortunately foods processed without gluten usually have sugar as a main ingredient.  Gluten free does not mean taste free, but manufacturers think sugar is necessary to make a food taste better.  It's difficult to avoid sugar if something is gluten free and comes from a box on the grocery shelf (frozen foods included).
So what do I do when I don't feel like cooking a meal at home?  I've started to just avoid eating. When I do eat, I over eat the processed foods with added sugar.  Vicious cycle begins and ends with bad choices.
So, how do I start making better choices?  I need to stop saying the word DIET.  It's like a dirty word and to most people it means DEPRIVATION.  It says  I CAN'T HAVE _____.  How about saying I'd like to have ____ and the choice is up to me?  I like the option of choices.  I want to change my relationship with food and eating to a healthy living relationship.  I'd like to have the healthy choices become automatic and natural.
Every day I have hundreds of choices to make from what I wear to what I eat.   An alcoholic knows they are one drink away from becoming a drinker again.  A drug addict knows they are one drug away from addiction again. So it is with a food addiction.  Yes, we need food to live, but we don't need high sugar, high fat and high salt foods to survive.  Making healthy choices will help me avoid going back to the sugar, fat and salt addiction I'm living with now.
I'm left questioning whether giving or buying for someone else those foods which I would not choose for myself.  Do I enable their unhealthy choices or give them the healthy choices I make for me?
If my friends or family suddenly start getting fruit baskets and gluten free foods from me they will know I LOVE them enough to not give them poisonous foods.  I'd like to have my friends and family around longer to enjoy life with me.

No comments:

Post a Comment