Sugar cookies....................

Now that I have your attention. . . .

Do you see the Holiday season as one big sugar cookie bake shop? I do!  I love cookies. Every year it starts like this.

We start baking sweet treats and then try to avoid putting them into our mouths.  What the heck? This amounts to self torture.  However, I enjoy baking cookies at this time of year. It gets me into the spirit of the season and I give them away.  This will be my 31st year of making cookies for my family.  Frankly, I'm kinda sick of them.  I may eat a few, but not like I did last year. I was addicted to the way they would melt in my mouth.  This year I think of eating them as pouring sugar straight into my mouth....ewwww.

The sugar in my life now is my Grandchildren.

Riley 2 1/2, Isaak 16 days and Nevaeh 4 1/2.  My Grandkidlets!!

I'm focused on losing this weight and being healthy for these 3 precious Grandchildren.

They deserve a healthy active Grandma to play with them and chase them around.

I'm 2 tenths from my first ten pound weight loss on Weight Watchers.  I'm happy with my progress and how on track I've been able to stay.

Saturday I'll see if I've made that goal. 

Tonight I tried on more pants I had in the "smaller pants box" and 3 more pairs fit. I did the "Oh My Gosh they finally fit" dance.

These little victories mean so much to me, you just have no idea. Well, maybe you do.  You've read this far so maybe you know how good it feels to beat an addiction, be it food, alcohol, drugs or gaming.  Whatever you may find yourself addicted to it is nice to know other people can relate and will be there for you as you try your best to beat it once and for all.  It's not easy and it sure isn't fun.  I'm finding a way to add fun to this process. Like making up names or stories about who I see at the gym and why they are there. I get on the treadmill and "walk out" to my music.  I try not to do things that will make people report me for being weird while on the treadmill.

I love how my trainer got me to a point where I can now go to the gym on my own and do my own workout.

I'm working my way thru this maze that is my life.  One day at a time and one meal at a time.

Are you on this journey too?  I'd love to hear how your doing and if you have ideas for how to make this more fun.
Oh I forgot to share this in my original post so here I am editing it now. My WW leader uttered the words I mentioned a few months back, "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"  Now I know it's a WW catch phrase. I still don't agree with it.  I enjoyed every bit of that kit kat bar I ate tonight. AND My thighs are still shrinking :-)

Holding this little one gives me less time to eat.

Dear Santa......

Putting all the pieces together

I've had 4 weeks to figure out this Weight Watchers Points Plus.  I'm on track and losing like I planned. 2 pounds a week is my goal. I've had my own little issues with this though.

I want to lose the weight so badly it's scary sometimes.  I know I can do it, but I find myself trying to sabotage my progress. WHY???  Why would I do that? Am I afraid of being healthier or thinner?  I know I'm terrified of how my skin will hang after these 80 pounds are gone.  If you've seen a pair of panty hose after they've been worn you know what I mean when I say "Will my skin look like that too?"  Well the answer is YES!  I see the skin already starting to hang a bit more, granted it's not as much, but still it hangs. I'll look like a shar pei all wrinkled and having hanging skin.  My arms already look like they have wings.  When I wave now my arms keep waving, even after I've stopped. My arms have big muscles that you can see when I flex them, but there is that flap of skin hanging all droopy down below it.  I do have to laugh at the things I do in front of a full length mirror when I'm alone. I wiggle and jiggle all my loose skin.  I'm trying to get an act together for the next America's Got Talent.  There could be a category for Jiggling and Juggling while dancing to Rihanna.

I go to the gym every week for an hour or more.  I go 4-6 times a week.  I felt like a slug by Saturday this last week because I hadn't gone Thursday or Friday.  I did have a valid excuse.  My Grandson was born at 12:18 p.m. on 11-10-11.  I was there and got to help my daughter give birth. An amazing experience and one that I will never forget.  My daughter handled that labor and delivery with barely a whimper. She was in pain, but she never yelled.  She did say she hoped it was a boy because she really didn't want to have another baby, EVER.

I was running on adrenalin and pure energy by Friday night.  Saturday we got them home and I took a 2 hour nap.  My husband had to go out of town again for work so I went to the gym. 
I can't be that into self sabotage if I'm going to the gym and doing 200+ calories on the treadmill and then doing another 30 minutes of weight machines and crunches. 
I had been finding myself SO hungry in the evenings the last two days.  I deduced it was because I'd get up at 7 a.m., have my cup of coffee and then go to the gym.  I'd wait about an hour before eating after I got home from my hour at the gym. My poor body was starving for food and it was going to make sure I fed it too.
Today, I got back on track.  I had my coffee as usual, but when I got home I sat down to a nice protein fueled breakfast THEN I took my shower.  I blended up a fruit smoothie to drink on the way to work.
I felt much better this morning.  
Okay now to explain how this WW (weight watchers) works for ME.  You can't follow my plan because it may not work for you.  I like how they give me the points I need to have each day and then let me find my own foods to eat.  They have suggestions, but I can find foods to eat at any restaurant I go to.
I can eat any fruit because they have 0 points.  However, I'm not supposed to eat 12 bananas for breakfast, for example.  I've found WW english muffins and WW yogurts are yummy and low in points.  I try to eat an apple every day along with a banana.  I make frozen fruit smoothies.  I only use fruit without added sugar and I'll add vitamin water or coffee to help it blend up better.  I LOVE those smoothies.  I'll find a way to add veggies to them some day.  I find spinach is too green and I get pieces of it in my teeth.  That doesn't look so nice when I smile, I'm a receptionist so I can't have green bits in my teeth.
Lunch is a WW frozen meal.  It's quick and easy.  Snacks are usually hummus and WW dijon pretzels.  String cheese, a progresso light soup with most of the juice drained off makes a filling snack with lots of veggies.  I've bought the WW snacks and some of them I really like, but find myself using those as my points instead of real food like proteins that my body needs so badly when I work out like I have been doing.
Every day is my new beginning.  I can start over again and do the day better, maybe by not eating candy or getting a little more sleep or even taking time to just hold a baby while he sleeps.
Babies don't care what your weight is or how many wrinkles you have on your face or body :-)

Yesterday I was at the gym and was doing my after workout stretching.  I noticed a young woman waiting by the trainers desk.  I assumed she was waiting for the DUD (the trainer I had "fired" in April) .  I see her talking to another trainer and then she's making a phone call.  I hear her talking to DUD and listening to his lame excuse about how his phone was set on vibrate and he didn't hear it to wake up.   I watched her go upstairs to get on a treadmill, bike or elliptical machine. I debated, should I go tell her about my experience with DUD or not.  How would it have been for me if someone had spared me weeks of his lateness and lame excuses by telling me what his work ethic was?  I would have had those sessions with a trainer who showed up on time and truly cared enough about my gym time to invest in me 100% sooner.  You know what I did!!
I walked upstairs and found her.  I told her that she should find another trainer, preferably a female, who would be on time and not give excuses for being late.  She told me this was the first time, I told her that if it keeps happening then find a different one.  I told her that she can do this and she can succeed.  She shared with me that she is a Mom of 3 children all under 5.  I hope she takes my advice because today I overheard the DUD telling his client how he'd gone to see Guns N Roses Sunday night. I read in the paper that the concert ended at 2 a.m. Gee I wonder why he didn't wake up on time?  LIAR!!   I'm so done with the liars like him.  I lost any ounce of respect I had left for him in that instant.  
I'm happier now than I have been in years.  I have my life under control and I have my goals in sight now.
I can achieve successful weight loss. AND I don't have to suffer through lying trainers who only care about themselves and not their clients.  Christine, I miss seeing you at the gym when I go now.  I miss you waving at me when you'd spot me on the tread mill before our workout sessions. Nothing beats a trainer who truly cares about how the client succeeds after the paid sessions have ended. Thank You for caring about my future success.

Isaak Thomas- 9 pounds 2 ounces 22 inches born on 11/10/11

Making Progress

Yup, we are Vikings fans. I like my "Breast Cancer Awareness" Vikings pink shirt.

I feel so in control of myself and my eating.
I'm now more than two weeks without a trainer to push me thru my workouts.
I go on my own and do my treadmill time.  I'm up to 50 minutes on the treadmill and two plus miles.  I'm seeing 10,000 plus steps on my "fitbug" pedometer. 
I joined Weight Watchers 2 1/2 weeks ago and have lost 3.6 pounds.  I'm not even freaking out about not losing more.  I want to lose it slow and steady.  I'm fine with the "Points Plus" and how the whole program works.
I know I won't be going back to Atkin's.  I enjoyed Atkin's, but because of the intussusception my body can't do it.  
Feeling like I can do this and succeed in getting fit and healthy has given me confidence.
I get so many compliments on how I look that my confidence is growing stronger.
I know I can do whatever I set my sights on.  I have even started setting up goals for other things besides weight loss. 
I have a new Grandbaby due any day now. I get to be the birth coach for my daughter.  I have the honor of seeing my grandchild being born and holding him/her for the first time within minutes of the birth.  I want to be around for this baby.  I want to be able to keep up with all that energy and not tire out.
I'm enjoying my Calligraphy class.  It's fun to try new things and explore other activities.  Who knows what talents I have kept hidden behind a veil of food and fat.  
I'm open to new adventures with my husband.  We have plans for the next year that include me walking a LOT to explore.  I am driven to get to my goal weight and even be able to ride a bike again.
Does this make sense to you?  Do you have your goals hanging out there almost taunting you to reach them?  Come on let's reach a goal before the end of the year.  60  days to a new goal?  Sure why not..... Pick a goal and plan out how you can make the steps to achieve it.  Contact me if you want someone to share your goal with or just offer encouragement.   Follow me on twitter http://twitter.com/DesignerNails

Halloween Party.  My inner Goddess came out.