Monday, December 27, 2010

Making a plan

My plan for today is to begin my workouts.  I went online and set up my training for the next 2 weeks. This week 3 times next week 4 times. I know consistency will matter the most.
The toughest part is making an eating plan. Ha ha ha I struggle with sticking to it.  So thinking about my past successes and failures, I'm thinking of doing this a day at a time!  I need to stop and ask myself WHY I want to grab this or crave that?  This way I'll be more self aware of why I make those choices.
2010 was spent working on the inner me.  I worked on what makes me react to situations negatively. I learned that I'm not responsible for how my children live their lives. They are adults and I can set limits on what I will tolerate.  "You deserve what you tolerate" so I won't be as tolerant in some instances.  Which brings me to why I tolerate eating foods that have no nutritional value? Shouldn't I feed my body nutritiously?  Let's face it junk foods taste better. I've discovered a book that tells the hidden truth about how our foods have been modified to make them more appealing to our taste buds. I was shocked, but still found myself eating it.  Makes me mad that the pull to eat this modified food is so strong. 
Today I will stop and ask why?

Sunday, December 26, 2010

An old year draws to a close......Goodbye 2010

It's the day after Christmas and here I sit.  Mad that I ate one too many cookies and candies.  Why do I eat sugary foods when I KNOW what they do to my body?  Because I am addicted to sugar. Sugar oh how I love the sweetness that fills my mouth.  After I eat it I crave it again.  My self control seems to vanish even though I set out in the morning to be good and not eat junk.  So today I did the sensible thing, I ate a banana.  Banana's are naturally sweet and a fruit which is good for me. Right?  I was on Atkins for almost a year and lost 50 pounds. WOW it was great to have my sugar cravings vanish and to be in control of my eating.  Long story short, I had to have surgery which forever changed my ability to do Atkins the same way again.
I wonder every time I want to restart my weight loss if this time I can find the secret to eating the Atkins way without causing stomach issues.  ARGHHH It can be so overwhelming.

I looked into Overeaters Anonymous, OA, to see if they might be able to help me find the answers. Lots of meetings out there to go to I just have to make it to one to see if it will work for me.
I know what I need to do it's just hard to do it because it's hard work to not eat food that's bad for me.  That does sound funny when I read it.  It should be really easy to eat healthy, but it's not part of my make up.
I noticed that the cover of almost every woman's magazine shows a yummy dessert and an article for how to lose weight. What's up with THAT?  Society beats us up and demands women be a size -1, but the average is size 14.  Magazines show models and starlets in skimpy clothing and now we know air brushed to look slimmer.  How have I managed to live 51 years and not loath myself for not being a size -1. (I know -1 is not a size I'm just exaggerating)
I enjoy exercising, but I don't feel driven to do it every day.  I suspect it'll become an addiction again once I get myself back into it. I worked with a trainer for 4 months last year to get into shape before my 50th birthday party.      50 now that is a big number, a huge milestone in life. I worked my tail off 2 times a week for an hour with her and lost 9 inches. 9 inches!  I felt great and then after my party I slacked off. I changed gyms since my trainer left training for a corporate job, who can blame her the pay and hours were much better.  I had used up my training sessions at that gym anyway so I moved on.  I like LA Fitness. Nice clean place with lots of equipment and helpful staff.  I signed up for 3 times a week training and am committed thru September 2011.  I start again tomorrow, 3 times a week to start.  I had foot surgery October 1st so my choices in workouts is now limited.  But I desire to lose the weight.  No one except my Doctor is telling me I have to lose it.  I just want to lose it because I seriously felt great before my surgery in 2009.  I have regained 30 of those 50 pounds and dang it I want them off again.  The longing to see the first number be a 1 and not a 2 is what is compelling me today.
I hope you will enjoy the journey with me as I seek to find out WHY being Big, Blonde and Beautiful is not all it's cracked up to be!