It's the day after Christmas and here I sit. Mad that I ate one too many cookies and candies. Why do I eat sugary foods when I KNOW what they do to my body? Because I am addicted to sugar. Sugar oh how I love the sweetness that fills my mouth. After I eat it I crave it again. My self control seems to vanish even though I set out in the morning to be good and not eat junk. So today I did the sensible thing, I ate a banana. Banana's are naturally sweet and a fruit which is good for me. Right? I was on Atkins for almost a year and lost 50 pounds. WOW it was great to have my sugar cravings vanish and to be in control of my eating. Long story short, I had to have surgery which forever changed my ability to do Atkins the same way again.
I wonder every time I want to restart my weight loss if this time I can find the secret to eating the Atkins way without causing stomach issues. ARGHHH It can be so overwhelming.
I looked into Overeaters Anonymous, OA, to see if they might be able to help me find the answers. Lots of meetings out there to go to I just have to make it to one to see if it will work for me.
I know what I need to do it's just hard to do it because it's hard work to not eat food that's bad for me. That does sound funny when I read it. It should be really easy to eat healthy, but it's not part of my make up.
I noticed that the cover of almost every woman's magazine shows a yummy dessert and an article for how to lose weight. What's up with THAT? Society beats us up and demands women be a size -1, but the average is size 14. Magazines show models and starlets in skimpy clothing and now we know air brushed to look slimmer. How have I managed to live 51 years and not loath myself for not being a size -1. (I know -1 is not a size I'm just exaggerating)
I enjoy exercising, but I don't feel driven to do it every day. I suspect it'll become an addiction again once I get myself back into it. I worked with a trainer for 4 months last year to get into shape before my 50th birthday party. 50 now that is a big number, a huge milestone in life. I worked my tail off 2 times a week for an hour with her and lost 9 inches. 9 inches! I felt great and then after my party I slacked off. I changed gyms since my trainer left training for a corporate job, who can blame her the pay and hours were much better. I had used up my training sessions at that gym anyway so I moved on. I like LA Fitness. Nice clean place with lots of equipment and helpful staff. I signed up for 3 times a week training and am committed thru September 2011. I start again tomorrow, 3 times a week to start. I had foot surgery October 1st so my choices in workouts is now limited. But I desire to lose the weight. No one except my Doctor is telling me I have to lose it. I just want to lose it because I seriously felt great before my surgery in 2009. I have regained 30 of those 50 pounds and dang it I want them off again. The longing to see the first number be a 1 and not a 2 is what is compelling me today.
I hope you will enjoy the journey with me as I seek to find out WHY being Big, Blonde and Beautiful is not all it's cracked up to be!
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