Friday, March 16, 2012

Irish Luck? I'm wishing it for you anyway!!

I love this dress!!
The Luck O’Weigh-in
I’m so thrilled it’s almost St Patrick’s Day. I’m Irish so it’s a lucky day for me and a fun reason to wear GREEN!
I was having some health issues the last two weeks and finally it came to a head and I went to see my Dr.  I’m so good at beating up on myself about not being perfect or losing weight every week.  I’ve put so much pressure on myself that I started to have anxiety attacks.  I was shaking and thought perhaps I had developed diabetes or even pre diabetes.
Oh no it’s just a lil stress and anxiety that’s all.  Good Grief that was not quite what I expected to hear, but it beats finding out I’m having a heart attack.  My blood pressure is up too so now it’s time to change up things and get back to normal.  Or as I like to say Normal for ME!
I had to take a few days off work to take care of me for a change.  That was so hard because I love my job and am dedicated to being there.
I definitely needed the days off.  I ended up with an extra day because my Father who is 80 had a bad bout with the stomach flu.  That scared me badly.  I fear losing him, but know he’s not a young man.  He is the stoic male who refuses to see a Dr unless it’s for his yearly physical.  When he called me to take him to ER I knew he was miserable. My son stepped up and drove him to ER and I met him at the check in desk.  Thankfully he is okay and feeling great again.  If he drinks his beer after work I know he’s fine.
On to my weigh in.  I woke up Wednesday morning, okay it was really Noon.  Anyway, I got on the scale to see just what I weighed.  I was down from last Saturday so I decided I would go ahead and weigh in to have a good week. No need to beat myself up after starting my new meds.  I was down 3.2 pounds so I felt great about it.
I got back into the gym Thursday and Friday. 60 minutes on the treadmill and stretching.  I just started reading a very good book, GUTS by Kristen Johnston, the gorgeous lady from 3rd Rock from the Sun.  She has an incredible story to share with everyone.  Definitely worth the time to read. You can order it here
I’ve also been listening to Penn Jillette’s podcast.  He’s an atheist which is contrary to my way of believing, but it’s interesting to get someone else’s view point on life too.
I am working on staying positive and saying self esteem boosting words to myself.  If I eat something I know is a LOT of points I don’t eat ten of them I try to limit my splurges to one or two.  I know I have my weaknesses like potato chips and pizza. I’m trying to stop rewarding myself with food and instead using other things like shopping.  Shhh don’t tell my husband that… it’s ok he admitted he doesn’t read my blog.  Bad Man!!!  Of course today he probably will.
I guess what I’m trying to say here is don’t beat yourself up and set yourself up for failure by having unrealistic expectations.  I heard a woman last week say that after 3 years she’s down 123 pounds. 3 years! I was shocked that she didn’t give up on her journey, but OWNED it.
If this takes me 3 years, big deal that means I’m dedicated.  Heck just 4 years ago I was 40 pounds heavier than I am today.  That’s 10 pounds a year, hmmmm that means it’ll be 8 years until I hit my goal weight? Oh no that is so not going to be the case for me.  I’m doubling my efforts to shed this weight sooner rather than later.
Thank You for the feedback on my last blog.  It’s good to know everyone struggles and has good and bad weeks.  Together we can all make this a journey to become healthier, happier people one pound at a time.


Me in February 2012
Me in May 2011
 Do you see a difference?  >>

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Cha Cha Cha Changes....

Don’t go making changes on me… I don’t handle changes well.
I know Weight Watchers was looking at their bottom line $$$$ when they moved the really good motivational leader we’d had to another location over the Christmas holidays.  NOT a good move. Many people who were not there when he made his little announcement found out the next week and were PISSED.  One week your favorite leader is telling you how to live with WW and Points Plus the rest of your life, the next he’s gone without any warning.
Listen I understand how companies work. I’ve witnessed one too many “down sizings” and “changes”.  I just wonder where the commitment is for the people who are spending their money at WW meetings every week/month.  I’m going to see/hear him tonight because I have lost all motivation in the last 2 weeks.  I’m not caring what I’m eating and I can’t live like this. I can’t gain back what I’ve already lost AGAIN!
I'd even eat this, but it looks so disgusting I just couldn't!! Would YOU eat this?

So now I need to figure out how to accept changes without going off the rails.  I’ve got all the tools to do this thing and do it perfectly.  Yet I get thrown off the rails by little things. They seem little to most people, but to me they are big things.  I just have to cope and not lose my Mojo. 
I have so many positives in my life and no room to complain about anything really.  I just have these pesky little things getting in my way and throwing me off.
My Arthritis pain has been worse the last two weeks and I’m so scared of becoming dependant on my pain medicine.  I know I’m not taking much, but the fear lingers in the back of my mind.  I just keep doing my work outs and tread milling like a crazy person. I know I’m not helping my joints any, but good grief I need to keep moving or I’ll just go back to growing into Jabba the Hut.  Not who I want to look like. 
It’s so hard to see the people who gave up and don’t care anymore.  I’m not giving up, which is why I’m willing to drive 14 miles one way in rush hour traffic to hear Randy speak tonight.  I am NOT going to weigh in, I’m just going to listen and see if I can talk to him.   I like how I’m feeling and the great changes I’m seeing in my body.  I can’t like to give up EVER.(Spoken like Nevaeh)  I’ve never wanted to be a quitter, but I have quit things before. 
My Mom Betty Ann
 This last Saturday was the 9th anniversary of my Mother's death and every year at this time I get depressed. You see I was with her when she took her last breath and held her hand as she left this world. I know she wouldn't want me to give up. For YOU Mom I'll keep moving forward.
Christmas maybe 1967? My Mom, me and my Dad
Getting healthier and stronger has been my goal along with losing the weight.  I just feel overwhelmed some days and fight the urge to throw in the towel.  Do you feel that way ever?  How do you get past the urge to quit?  What have you found that keeps you going even when the scale doesn’t favor you?  Should I throw out my scale and just go to my accountability meeting once a week to find out my weight?  How do I get my head back on track?
I’m open to suggestions and will gladly post your feedback if you allow me to.  Let’s get this conversation going both ways.  I’m not here to just talk/write AT you, but to open up a dialog with other people who struggle with these issues too.
It’s Tuesday and I need to get this figured out before I weigh in Saturday……oh dear this is gonna be a long week.