Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Training for the rest of my life

Yesterday I did it again.  I fired my trainer, well not really fired as in I said You're fired. More like, Look Dude your not fulfilling your end of this bargain.  He was showing up late for our training session and was not motivating at all :(   I had had it with the lateness and lame excuses.  I found out a new trainer had started.  Christine, just the name made me feel better.  I talked to her before and after my last workout with the Dud(e).
She and I formed a bond right away, she is so excited to help me reach my goals and will guide me along the journey.  I have all my training sessions set up between tomorrow and July 1st. Starting with 3 times a week and in June going to 7 days a week.  
I have the commitment from her and I have the commitment from myself to get this show on the road literally.
I'm not getting younger and I'm not getting more flexible either.  I want to keep the good parts working and continue to fix the parts that need fixing.

I'm very happy and content just as I am now.  BUT (there's always a but) I want to get fit and lose this weight.  I feel like a failure some days, yet I know I'm just a food addict.  No rehab for food addiction.  Bulimia or anorexia yes, Overeaters have Overeaters Anonymous.  Just general food addicts have.....??
The world beats us up constantly.  You need to be a size 2 and be 5'8" and have long hair and wear stiletto's.  Hell NO!  Not this woman.   I've got real curves and plan on keeping them.  Maybe keep them in a more toned and smaller package.  
I'm being real, it's not going to be easy and everyday I start the fight over again.  I start to think I'm in "Ground Hog Day" the movie, every day I begin it again and need to try something different today.
My nights get to me.  I find myself wanting to hit the fridge or kitchen.  Sometimes I just lock myself in the bedroom and try to get to bed earlier.  When I'm asleep I can't eat!
I'm finding the key to me, to unlock what will be my A-Ha moment.  I've been reading and examining my own life to see why I turn to food for comfort.  
We all really are the sum of our past experiences.  
Have you had something happen in your past that caused you to turn to food for comfort?   Is it something you can talk to a friend about?  Or have you considered counseling to help move past it?  Journal writing is also a good release for pent up anger or frustration.  Or blog about it like me. LOL
Whatever you feel your dragging around with you from your past, maybe you should let it go and life your life NOW!

1 comment:

  1. I recomend any of Geneen Roth's Books. Especially "when food is love" i have a bunch of them, and one of them on audio i would be happy to lend you :) they helped me a lot with my more emotional eating stuff.