CASTing my cares away

I'm sporting a lovely baby blue cast on my right foot.

Oh boy I forgot just what this surgery was going to entail for me.  No driving, lots of pain and NO independence.  

I am happy to report that my weight did go down a little after I got weighed and knew what my weight was post surgery and casted up nicely.

The most surprising thing is I'm not really hungry and attribute that to my lack of burning much energy to move around.   I'm not having to refuel my muscles after a workout so there's no need to eat more to offset the muscle rebuilding.

The best part of being home for the last 3 weeks is the time I've spent with my 9 month old Grandson Isaak.

My oldest daughter has been "Old Lady Sitting" me while my Father is at work and my husband is working.

Isaak giggles as soon as he sees me. It's so cute how he smiles and gets excited to see me.  I'll be in baby with-drawl once I go back to work and don't see him so much.  I play a little game to distract him while Mommy tries to change his diapers, he likes to crawl away while being changed.  I grab his foot and blow a razzberry on it.  He giggles and grabs his other foot. I grab the other foot and do it to that one and he giggles again.  Now I just blow a quick puff of air at his face and he starts laughing.   I guess I'm the funny Grandma now.  

Being unable to go to the gym to workout has been tough.  I miss the endorphins of a good hard workout session.  Pulling my kneely wheely up and down the 3 steps in the garage is not a great weight lifting session, but it is an arm workout.  I've got to get into a routine of using my hand weights and doing some bed yoga.  If I lay down on the floor I'm not getting back up without help.  I'm not allowed to put any weight on my right foot until November 10, 2012.  That's 9 weeks away.  I have caught up on a LOT of missed sleep however.

Before I went in for surgery I got my haircut and had some family time to prepare.  I knew this recovery was going to be rough. 

When a fellow blogger died a week after my surgery I was stunned.  She had just turned 49 that morning.  Please go get your heart checked. I'm talking blood pressure, if it's high get on meds!!!  If your cholesterol is high get medication for that and work on changing your diet.  Less saturated fats and more fresh fruit and vegetables.  It's the little things that will help the most.  Getting daily exercise is extremely important too.

I'm keeping this short today because it was just 2 weeks ago that Lynn Hudson left this earth to be with God.  I wanted to Honor her memory by dedicating my blog to her.  God Bless You Lynn and may the Love you poured out on all who knew you be a light to our path to a bright and happy future. I'm blessed to have known you and honored that you promoted my blog so freely.  Love and Blessings, Diana

Pretty toe nails with my pretty baby blue cast!!

 

Lost in............

Lost in translation!  That’s how I’ve felt these last few months.  I’ve lost my translation book for weight loss.  I started out knowing the language and translating for anyone who would listen.

Look I know how hard it is to stay strong and keep my mouth off the sugary stuff.  I’m addicted to FOOD!!!!  (I saw this last night and felt it might be something to look into http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-18560_162-57481946/is-sugar-toxic/?tag=contentMain;cbsCarousel )

I don’t enjoy being a food addict.  

It makes me sad inside and beats up my self esteem every time the addict gets a fix.

Every Saturday I go to my Weight Watchers meeting for my “Accountability time” as I call it on my “foursquare” check ins. http://www.weightwatchers.com/util/mtf/index.aspx

https://foursquare.com/

I need to keep being accountable to myself. I can cheat when I write down what I’m eating, but that dang scale NEVER cheats.  It says “Yeah I know you took one bite of that cookie even if you didn’t eat the whole thing at one time”.

A bite here and lick there all adds up as calories even if we don’t log it. It still happened.

I’ve been up and not losing weight in the last few months.  I’m not blaming anyone or anything, but me.  It’s my fault and I’m taking responsibility for my own weight gain.  

This no longer fits me, its TOO big. Husband and I 8/16/08 for my 30 yr reunion

Now don’t get me wrong here, but sometimes when I see someone losing weight faster than me I get embarrassed, I guess it must be that feeling, because I’m happy for them.  I love seeing others lose their weight.  I know they are gaining heath and their own happiness.  I just can’t help but be embarrassed that my own weight loss stalled. All the questions like: “Why can’t I lose it like he/she is losing it?” come into my mind.  Well, DUH it’s because that person is not me!  Plain and simple they are on their own journey.  I hear so many stories at my WW meetings of people just 5-10 pounds from their goal weight and they struggle for months to get there. 

To my thinking that last 5-10 should be easy to lose, but those can be the hardest.  It got me to thinking of how frustrating weight loss can be for anyone.  Some people start out with hundreds of pounds to lose and others have just mere single digit pounds to lose.  I think (I do a lot of thinking) that when a person has more pounds to lose say 200, they begin a program like Weight Watchers and begin losing it in 5-10 pound increments. Why do you suppose that is?  They get more points than those with say 80 pounds to lose who get a minimum of 30-34 points plus per day.  The usual lowest is 29 points plus per day with the extra 49 points plus per week.  The extra 49 is what I call the party points. If I go to a party I have extra points for that party to enjoy more points plus for the event.

Me 11/26/09

The weight seems to drip off the person with more to lose than the person with less to lose to reach their goal weight.  So my slower loss is nothing to be embarrassed about because it’s my journey.

I can do this.  I’ve been working at it for years already and look how far I’ve come.  I’m NEVER giving up because this is my journey and I’m seeing it to the very end. 

With that stated I’ve got a new battle that begins this Friday, August 10^th, 2012.  Foot surgery L I know I need it because the last few weeks has felt like I’m walking on a pin that jabs into my foot at random moments.  Getting old sucks big time.  Arthritis is not for sissies.

Isaak 8 months old

I’ve got my plans set I just need to get everyone around me on my plan too.  I know what I can eat and have begun planning my menu with charts to log what I’ve eaten.  Plus I’ll have my oldest daughter to help me out while my husband and father are at work.  The best part is my grandson Isaak, who turns 9 months the day of my surgery, will be visiting with Mommy.    I get Grandma time while home for 3 ½ weeks.  The 3 months of not putting weight on the foot will be tough and the no gym workouts will have its own challenges.

I have my own hand held weights and medicine ball to use so I can workout at home in my own handicapped way.  Imagine losing your mobility for 3-6 months i.e; no driving, running, stairs or swimming?  That will be very hard for me.  I like to be independent and will miss my own autonomy.  Being dependent on others is hard for me.  I’ll try to do as much on my own as possible.

Now I’d like to mention a few things about “Weight Loss Surgery”  

It has been in the news a lot lately.  It has its pluses and minuses.  For the record in 1980 I had a Gastric Bypass using the 20/80 stapling technique.  They stapled the upper portion of my stomach 3/4ths of the way across and left the lower portion intact and attached.  I was just weeks shy of my 21^st birthday.  I weighed 254 pounds.  I wore a size 26/28 and had tried everything short of stapling my mouth shut.

So you see WLS is not a permanent solution.  I popped staples, got an ulcer and needed additional surgery in 1985.  Plus, I had my gall bladder removed in 1982.  I also was more of a guinea pig back then, it was before the “pouch rules” came out.  This is the link to everything you need to know post op for bariatric surgery http://bariatrictv.com/

If I were looking into doing and WLS at this time of my life and had not had previous surgery I’d choose Lap Band surgery, but I’m lovin WW and its approach to safe weight loss.

Have you struggled to stay on your own journey?  Do you feel frustrated by your slow weight loss?  Do you feel empowered to keep on your own journey when you see others being successful as they travel on their journey?

Offer someone an encouraging word today.  Let your friend know how much you admire him/her. Give that barista a big smile when he or she hands you your coffee or tea.  Everyone needs an “Atta Boy” “Good Job” “Thanks I appreciate that” every now and then.  You might be the only person to give any cheerfulness to them today.  Go ahead Make Their Day!!

Me and my husband 9/7/09 down many pounds and enjoying the Minnesota Renaissance Festival

What does it mean to live your life with Joy, Purpose, and Conscious Choice?

Far too many of us live lives of worry, rather than lives of joy. It doesn't have to be that way. Every life is full of challenges - some lives are given seemingly insurmountable challenges. But each of us, at every moment, has the ability to make conscious choices about the life we have been dealt. To some extent, we can make positive changes in our circumstances. To a far greater extent, we can choose to accept and adapt to our circumstances with grace and joy. Living joyfully is always a choice.

May today be your day to dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Where do I go from here?

Here I am at the last day of May and only down a total of 41 pounds since 2008.

I was feeling rather discouraged until I remembered I’m not going back to that weight ever again.

I’ve been doing a lot of evaluating about my past attempts at weight loss and can glean from each experience something to use on my journey.

Some days just need a good Vodka and some sewing time!

My Atkins Diet gave me insight into how addictive sugar and some carbs are to me (I’ll keep this about me today and not include other people).  Once I eliminated carbs down to 20 grams a day I found that I didn’t crave them anymore.  I was able to avoid sugary foods and not be bothered by it.

My Exercise and My Fitness Pal calorie counting taught me about the need to fuel my body before and after a workout.   I needed to fuel with the correct foods.  Protein and veggies were important for building muscles.  My muscles grew and with it my strength improved. Using My Fitness Pal helped me track what I was eating and how much of what I was getting to enjoy a balanced diet.  My weight dropped, but the best part was building my muscle strength and stamina.

Weight Watchers helped me control my bingeing and gave me the tools to eat healthy too.  I’m able to see what causes me to over eat or emotionally eat my feelings.

So, here I am wondering why this weight is not just melting off my body.  I know what I’m doing wrong, I’m eating ha ha.  I’m without my e-tools so I’m having to use my memory to help me remember the points plus values of the foods I’m eating that are not Weight Watchers foods.  This has been a bit frustrating.  I decided to take advantage of the discount my insurance gives for me to be on WW, but I don’t have access to e-tools now. ::sigh:: I know fruits are zero points and so are most vegetables so that parts easy.  The hard part is remembering the other stuff I eat.  I have to be able to do this without leaning on the e-tools app on my phone.  I’m 52 years old and dang it I can do this! 

I’ve dealt with my Arthritis and ups and downs of being sick from different bugs I’ve picked up here and there.

My best tool has been WATER, yup good ol’ H2O.  I make sure I drink 5- 20 ounce bottles a day.  I’m trying to not use Crystal Light packets as much even if they are sugar free I learned they can make you crave sweets.  Sun Tea is soooo yummy and refreshing to my palate.  I discovered chocolate covered bananas in the frozen food section recently and I.AM.ADDICTED. Only 4 points plus for one of those treats.

Bibs for Isaak

Isaak wearing his Pooh bib

I’ve begun sewing again so that keeps me busy and I can’t eat while sewing, or I should say I choose not to eat while I sew.  I drink my water, listen to Pandora on my iPhone and create things. 

I find I need to be busy otherwise I just want to graze and that will not help me reach my goals.

I have had so many good things happen lately and I feel so peaceful with my life now.  The commercial I was part of making last year just started airing and it’s weird to see myself 30 pounds heavier in them. In fact the shirt I’m wearing is toooo big for me now. I’m keeping it to show myself how far I’ve come in a year.

Here’s the link  http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=kemQd79pNtU#!

Christina 25th birthday dress I made her

I had a blast modeling for C.J. Banks at their Mall of America location a few weeks ago.  It showed me I can really do anything I set my mind to doing.

I’m still consistently getting over 7,000 steps a day even when I don’t or can’t go to the gym.

I think I’ll just keep going on this journey and not let myself get side tracked or give up.  Giving up is NOT an option!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel sad when I see friends who I love dearly gaining weight or not taking care of their health.  This is the only body we get and it’s the only life we get to live.  Why not start today to make it the very best for YOURSELF?

I know I can’t lecture anyone else on their weight when I’m over weight myself, but I know I’m trying to get healthier so I’ll just be an example.

My blood work from a Bio metric screening came back and to my surprise and my Doctors it was pretty good. My overall cholesterol was just a bit up, but my good cholesterol was high.  The Doctor said “Your hard work at the gym is paying off”. That made my day.  It also proved I’m doing the right weight loss plan.  I’m taking the weight off slowly and in a healthy way now too.  Weight Watchers works for everyone, even those that are diabetic can do it and lose while keeping their blood sugar within the limits the Doctors set.

It’s really up to me and you.  I’m in charge of my mouth and my own health.  You are too, so why not be healthier for your future?

It really is where we go from this moment forward.  I’m going to stay on my weight loss journey and you can come along with me if you’d like.  Let’s go, the train is about to leave the station on the next leg of the journey!

Going Down steps is easier than..

going UP. Up works your muscles harder

Who's your best friend?

Spring has finally sprung!

I’m busy getting my workouts in and perfecting my eating habits.  I know how to maintain my weight once I hit my goal weight.  I am thrilled that I’ve managed to lose even in small increments.

I’ve concentrated on changing up my workout routine.  I think my body has just gotten used to the hour long treadmill time or aquafit class.  I mixed it up really good by doing a shorter more intense (intense for me) treadmill warm up.  I also did some heavy weight lifting with my arms and the next day my legs got pushed hard.  My pecs hurt so much in the days after that upper body workout.  I knew I had pushed them pretty hard and it felt good to know I could push myself.  I also did a variety of core building exercises.  Added more veggies into my diet and poof lost a few pounds.  I’m almost back to where I was before I slacked off and gained a few.  I still fit nicely in my clothes and was invited back to do another fashion show at CJ Banks. I went in to try on clothes for it. WOW all of the outfits looked amazing on me.  I’m adding photos from last year’s fashion show when I was 30 pounds heavier.

My arthritis is getting progressively worse in my hands and now my wrists.  It’s so sad, but I know it’s part of the natural aging process.  It runs in my family so I have no choice but to just deal with it and move on. 

I get so much joy and happiness from my Grandkids as you can see from pictures on my previous blog posts.  They keep Grandma Diana young and give me a workout just playing with them.  Baby Isaak is 18 pounds of solid boy.  I get a good upper body workout just picking him up.  I enjoyed chasing Nevaeh and Riley around a little when we went out for lunch.  

My friends are all very supportive of my journey and a few have joined me on this journey.  I’m thrilled to see more people looking to improve their overall health too.

I keep pushing myself to get over 10,000 steps on my Fitbug.  I love this little device.  I named it Lexi-bug.  Lexi-bug keeps reminding me to keep moving and get those steps in for a healthier future for me.  I see myself reaching my goal weight in the beginning of 2014.  I had over 100 pounds to lose when I started this journey in 2008.  I slacked off for 2 years after losing 50 pounds in 11 months.  I managed to put back on almost 40 pounds.  I was understandably upset with myself for letting myself backslide like that.  I also know I’m an adult and must take responsibility for my own actions or inaction as the case was then.  In 2011 I grabbed onto a rope that was tossed to me.  A lifeline that had me improving my self-esteem and my health.

Here I am a year later and I feel amazing.  I have more stamina and energy to do things that used to be too hard for me to do just 10 months ago.  I now eat healthy foods that I actually enjoy and find myself not finishing all of my meal more often.  I know that this is the right path for me and a journey that I will keep learning from every step of the way.

Be Happy with Yourself today.  Be your own Best Friend!  Go look in the mirror and tell that person you see looking back at you “You are a great friend and I love spending time with you every day!” 

My Best Friend and Husband Thomas on our 7th Anniversary this year March 23, 2012

Give up or stay Focused

There are days when I just want to give up and throw in the towel. This week was filled with those types of days, but they had absolutely nothing to do with weight loss.

I’m feeling so frustrated by my Arthritis pain this week.  I just wish I could get one day without pain, but I know that’s not going to happen.  Arthritis doesn’t give days off from the pain. It just keeps reminding me I’m alive to feel pain.  Yup, alive enough to feel it. And just enough pain to remind me not to do too much.  I know I need to keep using my joints or lose all use of them.  So off to the gym I go and get on the treadmill for my 8,000 steps.  I’m enjoying Aquafit classes a little more now that I found an instructor I like.  I go twice a week for an hour. I get a good workout too because my face is very red afterward and my knees don’t hurt J

I spent last week concentrating on tracking my foods and eating more fiber.  It helped as the scale showed me down, but I just lost the same pounds I lost before. I need to work on losing “new” pounds, so to speak.  I’m not giving up on my journey because frankly I’ve come too far to turn around and go back to 267 pounds!  Yes, 267 pounds was my highest weight back in January of 2008.  It’s taken me 4 years to get to where I am now, but I know it’s a journey.  It’s all in the getting there!

My husband has started biking on the bike paths near our home.  He’s enjoying going out and people watching while getting different exercise than a treadmill can offer.

I’d love to bike ride too, but don’t think Hopkins is ready to see my arse on a tiny bike seat just yet.  I would like to find a recumbent bike though as I feel that would be easier on my knee joints and feet. 

I’m preparing myself for foot surgery in August. 3 months of no driving, it’s my right foot so illegal to drive with my left foot. I’m lining up drivers for my trips to and from work.  That part will be easy, the hard part will be not going to the gym 5 days a week.  I’m putting in an extra effort now so when I’m immobile I can still lose only it won’t be big numbers only like a half a pound a week.

It’s important to be prepared for anything life might throw at me.  I enjoyed the Easter holiday with my kids and Grandkids.  I love being able to be with my 80 yr old Father for holidays.  I know there’s no guarantee he’ll be here for the next one so I try to make the most of each one.  The Grandkids hunted for eggs.  That was fun for them and for us. I ate my share of junk that day, but got back on plan the next day.  I’m making sure I eat the things I really want  without depriving myself, but restraining myself just enough.  I hope that made sense to you.  

Today I am finally grasping how this Weight Watchers plan is truly for the rest of my life not until I reach my goal weight.  I’ll be eating on plan from now until I die.  This is my way of life.  I had no problem living with Atkins when I was on it.  I could resist the sugary stuff and carbs just fine.  Now, however, I need to find the balance of sugar and  carbs to keep my healthy way of life going in a positive direction.

So this leads me to this question….What keeps us focused on the goal and not side tracked by sweet distractions?