OOPS....I didn't lose again

Do the numbers always reflect where we are heading?  Or even where we have been?

Friday was my worst weigh in ever!  I had planned on weighing in Saturday, but when friends invited us to a fish fry we just had to say yes.  We hadn’t seen them in weeks and knew the next few weeks would be very busy for us too.  So I knew I had to weigh in on Friday or eat very little for dinner that night and go Saturday like I had planned. 

I knew I’d be up because after being sick the week before I was eating like a binge eater.  I figured at a few pounds up, I could bounce back from that.  I almost started crying when the scale showed me up 5.2 pounds.  I was devastated and speechless. I even told the lady who weighed me I was surprised I was up that much because I knew I’d be up some.  She told me “But you came and that is what you needed to do”.  She was correct I did need to go even when I knew I’d gained.  Who would I be kidding if I just avoided the inevitable? Myself that’s who!

What would you have done?  Give up? Go eat whatever you wanted? Say to yourself “See you can’t even lose weight without blowing it, why do you even try?” Or would you do like I did and stay for the meeting and vow to not quit?

Really, who would I be if I gave up at the first set back on this journey?  I’m not a quitter so that is not an option for me.  I knew that I’d had a rough week, but I also knew I could do this Weight Watchers Points Plus Plan and keep losing weight.

I went out for the fish fry and ate until I felt full, which was a surprisingly small amount of food.  I enjoyed my meal and even ate some candy.  My husband was so sweet and supportive of me that day.  He knew I was upset with the weigh in, but he also knew I had to deal with it my way.

And do you know what happened Saturday morning when I got on the scale?  I was down 4 of those 5 pounds. I almost went to weigh in right then and there.  You see I didn’t let one little set back trash the previous 4 months of my journey.  I knew it was a blip on the radar that is my weight loss journey.  Giving up or just eating everything in sight would have been so much easier, but so unlike me.

Oh My!!!

I celebrated my sticking to it when my husband and I hosted our Murder Party Saturday night.

How to Host a Murder is a fun game/party.  The theme was “Class of ‘54” 5 year reunion.  I dressed as a 50’s housewife ala Lucille Ball.  I sewed the dress, got my hair pinned up and added the right accessories.  You can see from the picture that I had a blast and looked the part.

Life is about enjoying all the moments as well as the journey to reach the destination.  As Terri Clark’s song “Getting There” says “You want an answer as soon as you say the prayer, You want to land the moment you’re in the air, Baby the living is all in the getting there”  I like that view point because it is so very true the living is all in the journey to get there!

Tom finally found the CAKE...he loves cake!

My Best Friend and I on her 50th birthday, she doesn't look 50..geesh

The 1950's never looked so HOT!

Making my dress was so much fun!!

Setting Goals

This is what true love looks like.

My goal for 2012 is to hit 199 pounds.  I know it doesn't sound like a great goal to some people, but to me it's a HUGE goal.  Just getting to change that first number to a 1 will be a dream come true.
Just 4 short years ago I topped out the scales at 267 pounds.  The highest weight I had ever been in my life.  I was happy and content with the way I looked.  People around me never made me feel that I was obese or unlikeable.  I tried out for Klondike Kate so I wasn't afraid of being teased or demeaned in anyway because of my size.  However, I did long to be healthier.  Walking around with all that extra weight was beginning to take a toll on my body.
I began with the Atkins Diet.  I focused on no carbohydrates and lots of protein.  I kept my carbs at only veggie carbs.  Yeah that worked for a while.  I got down to 217 pounds.  BUT at the cost of my health.  I ended up with an Intussusception.  It was painful and could have killed me.  The Diet didn't cause it, but it did make me resist giving it up just to keep losing the weight.
So my goal was more important than my life at one point.  In 2009 I had surgery to repair the intussusception and gave up Atkins.  I kept trying to go back to it, but my body rejected it.
Fast forward to 2011 and I'd put the weight back on.  I was at 254 pounds in April and miserable.  I just wanted to lose the weight once and for all, so the next goal was set.  Exercise!!!  
I managed to attain that goal by building up my strength and core muscles.  Today I feel much better than I did one year ago.  My balance is better and I'm not as accident prone.
When I joined Weight Watchers in October I wanted to lose 2 pounds a week.  I have since come to see that the journey to 145 is paved with .5 pound losses as well as some gains.  
I like my mini goals now.  I set my exercise goal at going to the gym to 2-5 times a week and using  the treadmill to build up from 30 minutes to 60 minutes.  
My first mini goal for weight losses has been the second number changing.  I got inspired by my trainer to get the second number to change to keep me focused on the goal.
Since joining WW I've lost 15 pounds, but it's been a journey filled with gains and losses.  A LOT of learning went into that 15 pounds.  I learned about myself too.  I know I can eat this way the rest of my life.  
My goal after reaching 145 pounds is to help other obese people know they can get healthy and reach their goals too.
However, the best goal I ever set for myself was to find a man who I could give all my love to who deserved it.  In my husband I have finally found my Soul Mate and Best Friend.  I think every woman deserves a man who can be her best friend and soul mate too.   Never settle!!!

My Soul Mate and My Valentine!!!

I joined ebates and you can too. Just click the link.  
 http://www.ebates.com/rf.do?referrerid=CIeNMI3A8mhzNhsxHaVh9A%3D%3D

Who Changed the Rulebook?

How many times have I thought about just giving up and living with this weight?  Not as many as you’d think.

I took on this journey to succeed.  I want to reach the goal I set.  I want the VICTORY of owning my life!

No one sets out to fail at life.  I never have, have you?  I like winning just as much as the next person.  Only in this “game” there is no opposing team, unless you count fat and calories as a team against you.   My game is inside my head.  I have to fight the messages my mind likes to send to defeat me.  I can self sabotage in big or small ways.  Maybe it’s a program I grew up learning.  My reward for finishing my meal was cake, pie or cookies.  Why should I be rewarded for eating my food?  Why was there a clean plate club?  Is it because parents feel they need to force kids to eat healthy foods?  Is it perhaps because food that is healthy is not as tasty as non healthy foods? 

If you’re a parent you may remember giving your baby pureed fruits and veggies for the first time.  My babies never balked at eating squash or peas.  They happily ate whatever Mommy fed them.  As they developed more of a taste for foods they started preferring certain foods over others.  My kids ate a variety of foods growing up.  As the parent who cooked the meals, it was up to me to serve healthy foods.  I always had a veggie, meat or protein, starchy veggie and fruit.  I struggled some days to come up with something different.  I grew just as bored with Hamburger Helper as they did, but it was fast to make and left me time to make a veggie.

As my kids got older they started liking different foods. My oldest daughter would order the “Salad Bar” when we went out to dinner. She loaded her plate with veggies and jell-o.  She didn’t eat lots of dressing on her salad, oh no, she liked the pickles and olives.  She was my healthy eater. BUT she went thru a phase where she refused to eat meat.  She didn’t like the texture of the meat in her mouth.  That was rough for me as I kept trying to find what meat she would eat.  Eggs became very important.  Today she is a Mommy herself and she ate very healthy foods while she was pregnant and while nursing her son.  She had her own weight struggles, but she didn’t stress over it.  Today I look at her and feel such pride in how she lives her life on her terms and doesn’t let food become an issue for her.  What did I do right with her that I can’t do with myself?

My daughter Lizzi and my grand daughter Nevaeh

My Father, husband Thomas, youngest daughter Christina and I

Are we genetically predisposed to eating healthy?  I don’t know, but I’m thinking there has to be a gene that draws some of us to eat unhealthy foods.  I LOVE fruits, but dang it chocolate just tastes better some days.

So here I am with this food game going on in my mind and I’m on the defensive team fighting to regain control of the ball/mind.  Make no mistake, I WILL win this game.  This game is mine to win and I have the tools to make that happen.  Every day is a new beginning for me and for you.  Today I choose to get out of bed and hit the gym.  Yeah, that wasn’t easy because Arthritis has just entered MY game and wants to be in on the plays as well.  I’ve had to rewrite the rule book and some pages are missing.  I’m reworking this plan for my life and have new challenges to face, but I will face them and defeat this enemy that is body fat!

It’s okay to take a day off and reassess your goals and game plan.  Sometimes we need to look at what someone else’s play book looks like and copy what is working for them.  Other times we need to write our own plays for our game.

Today why don’t we all just make a list of what we know works and what we know failed in the past and learn from those successes and failures?  Make a new plan for our success for 2012!!!!

Diana"Me" and my Best Friend CheriAnne

Looking back. What do you see in your rearview mirror?

As I look at the past year I see so many changes in myself and in the people around me too.

My healthier outlook has been good for my psyche and my relationships.  I now view my decisions in a different light.  I think beyond just myself. I look at the impact my decisions have on those people around me every day.  It’s not just me that is affected by my choices.  I can have a positive or negative influence on others.  If I choose to bring in a package of cookies or cupcakes, my co-workers then have their own decision to make as to whether to eat it or not.  It can be very hard to make a healthy choice if you’re hurried, stressed or tired.  I don’t want to be the one who leads someone else to make that decision to eat the cookie at the detriment of their own health.

It’s all about cleaning up the atmosphere of my own environment.  Do I need candy at the front desk where I sit every day?  No, not really.  It leads me into my own temptation and my willpower can become weakened by its presence on my desk.  So my choice is clearly not to have that candy dish filled with sugared candy.  Sugar free candy can be just as tempting.  However, it is less likely to lead to binging.

The second area I’ve been cleaning out is my mind.  I find myself sabotaging my good habits with bad thoughts.   I know I’m my own worst critic.  No one can say anything worse to me than what I say to myself.  So why let the negative thoughts take over my happiness?  I refuse to give in to those thoughts.  I look in the mirror and see how far I’ve come in such a short time.  I’ve literally gone from a size 26 to a 20 in less than 12 months.   That is an accomplishment I carry with me every day.  I hold my head up high and know I’m in control of my life and my choices.

Deciding to hire a personal trainer is one I will never regret.  It cost me $3,600, but was worth every cent.  Now that I have that tool I am learning about eating and Weight Watchers (WW) is helping me achieve my weight loss goals.  Sometimes the sacrifices are hard financially, but worth it in the long run.

I don’t want to come to the end of my life and have regrets about something that I could have changed.  I am the one in control of this life of mine and I need to make sure I give myself the very best I can give to me.

I’m careful about words that I use when speaking to others. In the past my words have hurt people and left me feeling awful.  I want to leave people feeling good about talking with me and smiling when they walk away.  A positive impression goes a long way toward making positive friendships that build people up and help them to achieve all they can in this life.

As Valentine’s Day approaches look around you and see what positive impressions you have left on those people who have come into your life.  Even if the person was only in your life for a few minutes, the impression you left can be a positive one as well.

Today I wish you Love, Happiness and above all else Contentment.

Be content to be yourself and become the person you’ve always wanted to be.  You are in control of your future, where do you want to be 12 months from today?

Below you can see my journey from a size 26 to a size 20.

 

December 2010

New Years Eve 2011

Jan. 26, 2011

Christmas 2011

Jan. 12, 2012

This is why I'm doing all this hard work. Baby Isaak deserves a Grandma who can keep up with him.

Movin' Right Along, Livin' My Life, Doin' It My Way

Nevaeh, Isaak, Grandma (Diana) and Riley 1/14/12

I'm feeling so good mentally.  Physically I'm not doing so well.  My Arthritis pain, diagnosed 1/12/12, has been tough to deal with on a daily basis.  I'm taking pain medicine daily and it helps, but it is NOT what I wanted to use to ease the pain.

It's tough to workout like I had been.  No more heavy weight lifting or hard/fast treadmilling for me anymore.  I did change my workouts to 60 minutes on the treadmill to get a good cardio workout, but have limited my weight lifting to avoid further injury to my joints.  

As soon as my burn is healed I'll get into the pool and do some good pool workouts. 

I've done well the last 2 weeks on my weight loss. I struggled over the New Years holiday and put a few pounds back on :-( and that made me mad because I hate to lose the same pounds again. 

It's been great to put on clothes and see a very positive change in my figure.  I'm down 2-3 dress sizes and 2 pant sizes as well. I'm taking in my pants to put off buying new clothes.  

I know this is a journey and I won't wake up a size 10, but I am enjoying the time it takes to reach my goal.  I've set mini goals so I feel motivated to reach them one at a time.  My Chiropractor always says to me "Inch by inch it's a cinch".  I have to agree with him on that one.  I'm losing inches and cinching my clothing more and more.  The pay offs have been when someone hasn't seen me on a while and they say "You are looking so good".  I'm sure it's not just the weight, but I am much happier with my life now than I was 10 years ago.  I have so many things to look forward to and so many great friends to share my life with now.  My family is behind me 100% and they are becoming more interested in losing weight too.  It's nice to see my healthier lifestyle is inspiring those around me to want to do the same.  My boss told me just last week that he has started to eat healthier too.  Since I'm joining my companies Wellness Counsel I guess my efforts are paying off already.  I hope I can help other people to choose a healthy lifestyle that includes better eating with moderation and exercising by just getting out and moving.
What will you do with your journey? You have choices each and every day, Make them wise choices! 

I fit into this outfit 1/13/12

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2012 A New Year for a New ME!

New Years Eve 2011 Diana and Thomas

I rang in 2012 with a weight loss.  I'm down 11.4 pounds since joining Weight Watchers in October.  Down 42 pounds since I hit my heaviest in 2008. 

I'm happy that I got thru the holidays without packing on pounds.  I did enjoy the sweet treats as well as healthy foods.

I did a lot of "Oh My Gosh it fits me" dances when trying on clothes. I've gone down 2-3 dress sizes since May 2011. 

I'm committed to my workout routine and my healthy eating plan.

I've even started to inspire other people to embrace a healthier lifestyle.  Eating with more awareness of what types of foods we eat and what they do to our bodies in a positive way or negative way.  

The main foods we should all eat are fruits, vegetables and protein.  Proteins can come from more than meats and fish.  I know vegetarians get their protein from tofu as well as legumes. Also, quinoa is anther good source of protein.  

Making better choices when going out to eat is very important.   I know I'd rather have a deep fried piece of chicken over a broiled or grilled piece.  However, I like taking pressure off my joints by reducing my weight a little more each week.  I struggle with the temptation to eat the "bad stuff" versus the "good stuff" every single day.

I'm now struggling with a flare up of my arthritis.  Osteoarthritis is very painful and has been stopping me in my tracks these last few weeks.  It was bad enough before, but lately it has gotten much worse.  I almost cry when the now familiar needle pricking feeling hits a joint.  The worst has been in my hands the last 4 days.  I really try to "suck it up buttercup" and not let it bother me, but it's just not letting up on me.  It is just getting worse.  

Now my problem is HOW do I keep doing my workouts when my knee hurts along with my foot and hands? 
I know I have to fight thru it, but then again I'm only hurting my joints more by making them rub bone on bone. UGH!!!! 

I need a new swimsuit so I can go do pool workouts now. The only swimsuit I own is 2 sizes too big and you know how the water make them bigger anyway.  I do look quite funny with my droopy butt suit on and my straps sliding off every time my arms go down.  I can't be flashing the whole gym when I do my jumping jacks in the pool.  Oh dear!

I detest the aqua aerobics classes at LA Fitness.  They are boring and not fun for me.  I'll be bringing my iPod speakers so I can do my own workout with GOOD music. Ha ha take that song Mr. LapSwimmer!

Now how would you handle this change of plans?  Would you throw in the towel and give up or whine about it to anyone who would listen?
 Or maybe you'd suck it up and keep at it because there really is no going backward on this journey that is life!!!

I can't complain too much after all I do have a lot of good stuff happening in my life right now.  My Grandkidlets are getting SO big and are the Lights of my life. 

My family this Christmas from left to right My Dad Curt, Lizzi with Isaak, Christy, Riley, Diana, David and Nevaeh

 

Happy Holidays?? No Ho-ho's or Ding-dongs or...

It’s nearly Christmas, my all time favorite holiday.  My past Christmases were not that great. Lots of holiday hype on how perfect the holidays should be for everyone. Especially with a perfect family, perfect decorations, perfect friends and perfect gifts.  Let’s not forget the perfectly cooked foods we have come to associate with Christmas.

Diana and Tom 12-10-11

I’ve had so many emotional upheavals at this time of year growing up that I know all about emotional eating.  I get upset because something happens and I go dull the emotional pain with a cookie or ten.

I’m vowing this year to not set myself up for emotional overeating.

I’m not stressing about getting this done or that done on time or to perfection.  If the cookies don’t get baked until Christmas Eve day, big deal, so what, who cares!  If I forget a side dish, we’ll eat it the next day.  If one of my beloved family members decides to act like a 2 yr old and throw a tantrum, I won’t get involved in their meltdown.  That person can look foolish without my Motherly guidance.

I no longer stress about how many gifts each person gets to open.  I’m putting lots of little stuff into one bag and that way no one can feel left out.

Foods……ahh how I love my holiday foods. Cookies, candy, pies, potatoes and spiral sliced ham.  How could I ever get thru a family holiday without them?  I won’t eliminate them completely, however, I will eat them in MODERATION!!!!!!!!!

A small taste of my favorites without the guilt of having eaten a dozen cookies before lunch. Or that whole bowl full of “Puppy Chow”, even if it was only a small bowl full.  I’ll do it with an eye on my goal.

Riley and Nevaeh tell Santa their wish lists

My goal currently is to survive Christmas and New Years Eve without gaining any weight back. 

My last weigh in I was at 226.0. I haven’t been at this weight in over 2 years, when I turned 50.  I’ve got my eye on 219 now so I’m trying to be mindful of the foods I’m putting into my mouth.  It’s not easy when my 80 yr old father buys a bag of Hershey Treasures w/ caramel inside. He placed them in the bowl on the dining room table so they call out to me every time I walk by. I’ve silenced at least a dozen already!  Teach those little buggers to talk to me when I’m tired.

I set out to complete some mini tasks this week to keep my mind off food and on being productive. 
I just want everyone I know to have a healthy happy Holiday Season.  After all the new year is coming and with it comes all sorts of new choices for EVERYONE.
What are the choices you want to make?  Are you struggling with making a commitment?  What do you have to lose if you just do it?  Just make the commitment and change things in your life.  You deserve the best life you can give yourself!!! 
Let's bid adieu to 2011 and all it's bad choices. Say CHEERS to 2012 and all it's possibilities!!

Grandma holding Isaak, we call him a baby burrito