Happy Holidays?? No Ho-ho's or Ding-dongs or...

It’s nearly Christmas, my all time favorite holiday.  My past Christmases were not that great. Lots of holiday hype on how perfect the holidays should be for everyone. Especially with a perfect family, perfect decorations, perfect friends and perfect gifts.  Let’s not forget the perfectly cooked foods we have come to associate with Christmas.

Diana and Tom 12-10-11

I’ve had so many emotional upheavals at this time of year growing up that I know all about emotional eating.  I get upset because something happens and I go dull the emotional pain with a cookie or ten.

I’m vowing this year to not set myself up for emotional overeating.

I’m not stressing about getting this done or that done on time or to perfection.  If the cookies don’t get baked until Christmas Eve day, big deal, so what, who cares!  If I forget a side dish, we’ll eat it the next day.  If one of my beloved family members decides to act like a 2 yr old and throw a tantrum, I won’t get involved in their meltdown.  That person can look foolish without my Motherly guidance.

I no longer stress about how many gifts each person gets to open.  I’m putting lots of little stuff into one bag and that way no one can feel left out.

Foods……ahh how I love my holiday foods. Cookies, candy, pies, potatoes and spiral sliced ham.  How could I ever get thru a family holiday without them?  I won’t eliminate them completely, however, I will eat them in MODERATION!!!!!!!!!

A small taste of my favorites without the guilt of having eaten a dozen cookies before lunch. Or that whole bowl full of “Puppy Chow”, even if it was only a small bowl full.  I’ll do it with an eye on my goal.

Riley and Nevaeh tell Santa their wish lists

My goal currently is to survive Christmas and New Years Eve without gaining any weight back. 

My last weigh in I was at 226.0. I haven’t been at this weight in over 2 years, when I turned 50.  I’ve got my eye on 219 now so I’m trying to be mindful of the foods I’m putting into my mouth.  It’s not easy when my 80 yr old father buys a bag of Hershey Treasures w/ caramel inside. He placed them in the bowl on the dining room table so they call out to me every time I walk by. I’ve silenced at least a dozen already!  Teach those little buggers to talk to me when I’m tired.

I set out to complete some mini tasks this week to keep my mind off food and on being productive. 
I just want everyone I know to have a healthy happy Holiday Season.  After all the new year is coming and with it comes all sorts of new choices for EVERYONE.
What are the choices you want to make?  Are you struggling with making a commitment?  What do you have to lose if you just do it?  Just make the commitment and change things in your life.  You deserve the best life you can give yourself!!! 
Let's bid adieu to 2011 and all it's bad choices. Say CHEERS to 2012 and all it's possibilities!!

Grandma holding Isaak, we call him a baby burrito

Sugar cookies....................

Now that I have your attention. . . .

Do you see the Holiday season as one big sugar cookie bake shop? I do!  I love cookies. Every year it starts like this.

We start baking sweet treats and then try to avoid putting them into our mouths.  What the heck? This amounts to self torture.  However, I enjoy baking cookies at this time of year. It gets me into the spirit of the season and I give them away.  This will be my 31st year of making cookies for my family.  Frankly, I'm kinda sick of them.  I may eat a few, but not like I did last year. I was addicted to the way they would melt in my mouth.  This year I think of eating them as pouring sugar straight into my mouth....ewwww.

The sugar in my life now is my Grandchildren.

Riley 2 1/2, Isaak 16 days and Nevaeh 4 1/2.  My Grandkidlets!!

I'm focused on losing this weight and being healthy for these 3 precious Grandchildren.

They deserve a healthy active Grandma to play with them and chase them around.

I'm 2 tenths from my first ten pound weight loss on Weight Watchers.  I'm happy with my progress and how on track I've been able to stay.

Saturday I'll see if I've made that goal. 

Tonight I tried on more pants I had in the "smaller pants box" and 3 more pairs fit. I did the "Oh My Gosh they finally fit" dance.

These little victories mean so much to me, you just have no idea. Well, maybe you do.  You've read this far so maybe you know how good it feels to beat an addiction, be it food, alcohol, drugs or gaming.  Whatever you may find yourself addicted to it is nice to know other people can relate and will be there for you as you try your best to beat it once and for all.  It's not easy and it sure isn't fun.  I'm finding a way to add fun to this process. Like making up names or stories about who I see at the gym and why they are there. I get on the treadmill and "walk out" to my music.  I try not to do things that will make people report me for being weird while on the treadmill.

I love how my trainer got me to a point where I can now go to the gym on my own and do my own workout.

I'm working my way thru this maze that is my life.  One day at a time and one meal at a time.

Are you on this journey too?  I'd love to hear how your doing and if you have ideas for how to make this more fun.
Oh I forgot to share this in my original post so here I am editing it now. My WW leader uttered the words I mentioned a few months back, "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"  Now I know it's a WW catch phrase. I still don't agree with it.  I enjoyed every bit of that kit kat bar I ate tonight. AND My thighs are still shrinking :-)

Holding this little one gives me less time to eat.

Dear Santa......

Putting all the pieces together

I've had 4 weeks to figure out this Weight Watchers Points Plus.  I'm on track and losing like I planned. 2 pounds a week is my goal. I've had my own little issues with this though.

I want to lose the weight so badly it's scary sometimes.  I know I can do it, but I find myself trying to sabotage my progress. WHY???  Why would I do that? Am I afraid of being healthier or thinner?  I know I'm terrified of how my skin will hang after these 80 pounds are gone.  If you've seen a pair of panty hose after they've been worn you know what I mean when I say "Will my skin look like that too?"  Well the answer is YES!  I see the skin already starting to hang a bit more, granted it's not as much, but still it hangs. I'll look like a shar pei all wrinkled and having hanging skin.  My arms already look like they have wings.  When I wave now my arms keep waving, even after I've stopped. My arms have big muscles that you can see when I flex them, but there is that flap of skin hanging all droopy down below it.  I do have to laugh at the things I do in front of a full length mirror when I'm alone. I wiggle and jiggle all my loose skin.  I'm trying to get an act together for the next America's Got Talent.  There could be a category for Jiggling and Juggling while dancing to Rihanna.

I go to the gym every week for an hour or more.  I go 4-6 times a week.  I felt like a slug by Saturday this last week because I hadn't gone Thursday or Friday.  I did have a valid excuse.  My Grandson was born at 12:18 p.m. on 11-10-11.  I was there and got to help my daughter give birth. An amazing experience and one that I will never forget.  My daughter handled that labor and delivery with barely a whimper. She was in pain, but she never yelled.  She did say she hoped it was a boy because she really didn't want to have another baby, EVER.

I was running on adrenalin and pure energy by Friday night.  Saturday we got them home and I took a 2 hour nap.  My husband had to go out of town again for work so I went to the gym. 
I can't be that into self sabotage if I'm going to the gym and doing 200+ calories on the treadmill and then doing another 30 minutes of weight machines and crunches. 
I had been finding myself SO hungry in the evenings the last two days.  I deduced it was because I'd get up at 7 a.m., have my cup of coffee and then go to the gym.  I'd wait about an hour before eating after I got home from my hour at the gym. My poor body was starving for food and it was going to make sure I fed it too.
Today, I got back on track.  I had my coffee as usual, but when I got home I sat down to a nice protein fueled breakfast THEN I took my shower.  I blended up a fruit smoothie to drink on the way to work.
I felt much better this morning.  
Okay now to explain how this WW (weight watchers) works for ME.  You can't follow my plan because it may not work for you.  I like how they give me the points I need to have each day and then let me find my own foods to eat.  They have suggestions, but I can find foods to eat at any restaurant I go to.
I can eat any fruit because they have 0 points.  However, I'm not supposed to eat 12 bananas for breakfast, for example.  I've found WW english muffins and WW yogurts are yummy and low in points.  I try to eat an apple every day along with a banana.  I make frozen fruit smoothies.  I only use fruit without added sugar and I'll add vitamin water or coffee to help it blend up better.  I LOVE those smoothies.  I'll find a way to add veggies to them some day.  I find spinach is too green and I get pieces of it in my teeth.  That doesn't look so nice when I smile, I'm a receptionist so I can't have green bits in my teeth.
Lunch is a WW frozen meal.  It's quick and easy.  Snacks are usually hummus and WW dijon pretzels.  String cheese, a progresso light soup with most of the juice drained off makes a filling snack with lots of veggies.  I've bought the WW snacks and some of them I really like, but find myself using those as my points instead of real food like proteins that my body needs so badly when I work out like I have been doing.
Every day is my new beginning.  I can start over again and do the day better, maybe by not eating candy or getting a little more sleep or even taking time to just hold a baby while he sleeps.
Babies don't care what your weight is or how many wrinkles you have on your face or body :-)

Yesterday I was at the gym and was doing my after workout stretching.  I noticed a young woman waiting by the trainers desk.  I assumed she was waiting for the DUD (the trainer I had "fired" in April) .  I see her talking to another trainer and then she's making a phone call.  I hear her talking to DUD and listening to his lame excuse about how his phone was set on vibrate and he didn't hear it to wake up.   I watched her go upstairs to get on a treadmill, bike or elliptical machine. I debated, should I go tell her about my experience with DUD or not.  How would it have been for me if someone had spared me weeks of his lateness and lame excuses by telling me what his work ethic was?  I would have had those sessions with a trainer who showed up on time and truly cared enough about my gym time to invest in me 100% sooner.  You know what I did!!
I walked upstairs and found her.  I told her that she should find another trainer, preferably a female, who would be on time and not give excuses for being late.  She told me this was the first time, I told her that if it keeps happening then find a different one.  I told her that she can do this and she can succeed.  She shared with me that she is a Mom of 3 children all under 5.  I hope she takes my advice because today I overheard the DUD telling his client how he'd gone to see Guns N Roses Sunday night. I read in the paper that the concert ended at 2 a.m. Gee I wonder why he didn't wake up on time?  LIAR!!   I'm so done with the liars like him.  I lost any ounce of respect I had left for him in that instant.  
I'm happier now than I have been in years.  I have my life under control and I have my goals in sight now.
I can achieve successful weight loss. AND I don't have to suffer through lying trainers who only care about themselves and not their clients.  Christine, I miss seeing you at the gym when I go now.  I miss you waving at me when you'd spot me on the tread mill before our workout sessions. Nothing beats a trainer who truly cares about how the client succeeds after the paid sessions have ended. Thank You for caring about my future success.

Isaak Thomas- 9 pounds 2 ounces 22 inches born on 11/10/11

Making Progress

Yup, we are Vikings fans. I like my "Breast Cancer Awareness" Vikings pink shirt.

I feel so in control of myself and my eating.
I'm now more than two weeks without a trainer to push me thru my workouts.
I go on my own and do my treadmill time.  I'm up to 50 minutes on the treadmill and two plus miles.  I'm seeing 10,000 plus steps on my "fitbug" pedometer. 
I joined Weight Watchers 2 1/2 weeks ago and have lost 3.6 pounds.  I'm not even freaking out about not losing more.  I want to lose it slow and steady.  I'm fine with the "Points Plus" and how the whole program works.
I know I won't be going back to Atkin's.  I enjoyed Atkin's, but because of the intussusception my body can't do it.  
Feeling like I can do this and succeed in getting fit and healthy has given me confidence.
I get so many compliments on how I look that my confidence is growing stronger.
I know I can do whatever I set my sights on.  I have even started setting up goals for other things besides weight loss. 
I have a new Grandbaby due any day now. I get to be the birth coach for my daughter.  I have the honor of seeing my grandchild being born and holding him/her for the first time within minutes of the birth.  I want to be around for this baby.  I want to be able to keep up with all that energy and not tire out.
I'm enjoying my Calligraphy class.  It's fun to try new things and explore other activities.  Who knows what talents I have kept hidden behind a veil of food and fat.  
I'm open to new adventures with my husband.  We have plans for the next year that include me walking a LOT to explore.  I am driven to get to my goal weight and even be able to ride a bike again.
Does this make sense to you?  Do you have your goals hanging out there almost taunting you to reach them?  Come on let's reach a goal before the end of the year.  60  days to a new goal?  Sure why not..... Pick a goal and plan out how you can make the steps to achieve it.  Contact me if you want someone to share your goal with or just offer encouragement.   Follow me on twitter http://twitter.com/DesignerNails

Halloween Party.  My inner Goddess came out.

Getting on the right track

I've struggled with my weight issues for so much of my life it feels like a bad relationship that I can't get out of.....
So as I ended my paid training sessions with my EXCELLENT trainer Christine I knew I needed to get my next "area" figured out.  I know me so well and know I needed a plan that would keep me accountable and be easy to follow.   I joined Weight Watchers yesterday.  The Points Plus Plan is something I know I can do and follow without problems.   The only problem will be MY willpower to resist the empty calorie foods.  
This morning I got up early and was at the gym by 8 a.m. and worked out like a crazy person.  I did 30 minutes on the treadmill at 3.0 speed.  It felt good to get in over 4000 steps just on that treadmill.  I opened up my workout log and picked the machines I wanted to do and did my sets and reps.  30 minutes later I was BEAT, I had over 5000 steps on my fit bug and felt like I had just run a marathon.  I'm feeling pretty good about doing this without my trainer.  I have the tools to do this working out on my own.  Using  WW will help me with the next tool I need to get this weight off.
 I was not happy about the arthritis in my foot hurting and feeling like a hot poker jammed in my foot.  I am just going to workout thru the pain and then talk to my Dr tomorrow at my physical about how I can deal with the pain.  I will HAVE to get another injection of steroids to alleviate the pain in these joints.
I'm content with my life.  I have a man who loves me beyond all comprehension and family who is there for me.  Friends more numerous than I can count, who show me love and support in all things that I do.  I am Grateful to a God who loves me unconditionally and sends wonderful people into my life to touch me in ways that only HE knows why.
My blessings are many and my regrets are few.  THAT is how a life should be lived.
Go get on your RIGHT track.....there's no time like today to start your new beginning!!

Even BK wants us Happy.....

 

Fall has arrived

The smells of fall and the sounds of it fill the air now. The leaves are beginning to change and with it we move into another season.

Life is a lot like seasons changing.  We move from one season in our lives to the next.  I just turned 52 and feel like a new season started for me.  I find myself thinking of life changes I have experienced.  I survived Motherhood, the terrible teens years of my 3 kids and becoming a Grandma. Menopause provided many interesting sensations and some not so fun side effects.   

I am ready for this new season of my life.  The season of becoming healthy and happier within my own skin.  I enjoy more things than I did when I was 30 or 40.   I find trying new things is not so scary after all.  I'm taking a new interest in lifting burdens from my life.  Just letting go of old negatives and photos felt so good.  No one wanted them, but here I sat moving them around from home to home over 30 years.  I finally knew I was getting no joy or value from those items.  

Letting go never felt as good as it did last week when I threw away lots of clutter.  Why keep things in my life that don't add value or serve a good purpose?  If I find I need that basket after all,  I can replace it for less than $10.00.  I freed up space for something I do value, my pictures of my Grandbabies!!

Getting rid of that clutter seemed to help me let go of some other clutter in my head.  I no longer think about that pile of magazines I should go thru because they are all GONE!

I thought about that pile EVERY flippin' day.  I saw it when I walked in that room, it silently called to me to say "Hi, hey, how's it going? You wanna just take a peek at me and maybe make a decision about letting me stay here?  I could go sit some other place, maybe across the room on that table?"  Seriously, why did I let that pile of magazines talk to me? I felt guilty for not dealing with it, but couldn't bring myself to just deal with it.  That was a waste of good thinking time. 

Now I think about the new community education class I'm taking next week.  I'm DOING something instead of thinking about it.

All this season changing makes me want to keep making my positive changes.  There is NO going back now.

What do you feel needs to change in your life?  Are you brave enough to throw out the clutter that is holding you back?  Letting go of that mind clutter might just be the peace of mind we all hear so much about!

Lake Minnetonka 9/26/11 Leaves are changing!!

Watch what you say because your words speak volumes

Words....they affect us all in different ways.  We can be hurt by words or comforted by words. We can use words to put down someone or to lift them up.  
What we say out loud can be heard by others as well as ourselves.  The words we say in our heads can be very damaging to our psyche.
When offering words of advice think about the message that may be taken in many ways.
I know the person who offered this to me meant well, but it left a bitter taste in my mouth/mind.
"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"
I love the taste of CHOCOLATE.  I love the taste of STRAWBERRIES. I love the taste of PIZZA.
Does that mean I shouldn't taste my favorite foods because THIN feels better?
How does the person who can't eat feel when they see other people eating and they can't do it or it would kill them?  Do you tell that person "Oh you get to FEEL THIN so your not missing the TASTE of this chocolate."? What the heck?  I'd deck the person that said that to me.  I mentioned in a previous blog about a woman who had cancer being envied for being thin from having it.   This is the same thing. MESSED UP!
I sure wouldn't say such insensitive words to anyone.  Why is it okay to tell someone who is overweight whatever pops into your mind and out your mouth?
I'm so over this mindset that overweight people just eat too much and they should stop eating too much.  Just think how hard it is for a drug user or alcoholic to stop doing their addiction cold turkey.  We treat them with group therapy or certain medications to ease the withdrawal symptoms.  Overeating is about emotions.  Eating to cover up pain or comfort when stress hits or to celebrate something.
I feel we have been taught to use food for many things in this country.  As a child I was told I had to finish all my food on my plate because some other child didn't have food to eat.  Was that supposed to make me eat it or send it to them?
The movie "Supersize Me" showed how the food industry, mainly fast food, is trying to fatten us up one Smiley Meal at a time.
Portion size is what we should want.  I find I'm satisfied with a taste of the sweet stuff.  YES I'd like to eat the whole dang cake, but a small piece is enough to feed that sweet tooth. 
Learning what a REAL portion is made such a difference to me.  I found out I really didn't know what a half cup of food looked like nor three ounces of meat. 
I'll do a blog about portion sizes if I get feedback stating it is wanted.
My mind is just spinning.
I started watching a show on TLC called Big Sexy http://tlc.discovery.com/videos/big-sexy-videos/
and Supersize vs Superskinnyhttp://www.ovguide.com/tv/supersize_vs_superskinny.htm
Those two shows highlighted what being overweight has done to society and acceptance of larger people.
What do you think?

Granddaughter as a baby tiger and I'm feeling thinner.