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| Lake Minnetonka, Minnesota |
As
I approach my 53rd birthday I can look back and see the many changes
I’ve gone thru in just the last 10 years.
I
once had a very narrow view of life and in the world around me. Now I’m able to view the world with a
panoramic vision. I see how A affects B
and how B affects C, but not A. I used
to have such a one dimensional perspective of how my life impacted or didn’t
impact other peoples’ lives. Today I
know that my words and actions can have significant impact on people I may
never meet in person. The internet has
opened me to many more perspectives on world views, politics as well as how I
choose to live my life.
I’m
inspired by people I’ve met online who are fighting the same battles I am and
are winning as well.
My
weight loss battle is going slow. Being
in this cast has sidelined me and I’m not happy about it at all. I know this is to be expected as I can’t do
any real exercising. I’m mainly
maintaining my weight. No big gains or
losses so I’m learning to live with it. Every journey has a detour on its route. Mine is lasting 3 months, but I will reach my
goals taking things one day at a time.
I’m
much more conscious of how I’m feeling and what I’m eating than I was 2 months
ago. I’m reaching for food when I’m bored,
not hungry. So if I’m reaching for foods
I’m trying to upgrade my choices from junk to healthy food like fruit or fiber
rich snacks. I’m more aware of feeling
full and trying to eat slowly. I can
always eat more food later if I’m still hungry.
I don’t need to gorge myself until I’m feeling so full I’m in pain. I’m putting my fork down and enjoying the
taste of the food rather than eating it so fast that I don’t even remember how
it tasted. You know how you remember
something you once ate and it tasted SO yummy and good you just can’t forget
it. The sad thing is when we do eat that
food again, our memory might have remembered it tasting much better than it
actually tastes. I hate when that
happens, but I’m learning to just enjoy the memory and not fight to go find
that food again to relive that memorable taste.
I’ve been disappointed too many times.
It’s
a bit like the memory one might have of a first love. Oh the memories are of this great person and
how they made your stomach feel all tingly.
As long as we hold on to just the happy memories we’re fine, but once we
go deeper and remember the painful moments of that first love and how it
ended….. Well maybe it’s just better to leave that in the past as a happy
memory and look to your present or future for the REAL love in your life.
I’ve
recently had a chance to explore the past and relive some of the more painful
memories of growing up. I had people
tease me about my weight. Merciless
teasing so it got to the point that I dreaded school and thought about ending
my life. I never thought anyone would
truly love me OPENLY in front of other people. I lived for YEARS hating one guy from school
for his constant teasing. I thought of
revenge many times, but would never act on it.
Why waste my time and energy on a loser like Jeff S.? I
have much more to offer than hatred and anger.
I’m
much happier in my life today than I was 10 years ago. I was unhappy and miserable. I just wanted
someone to love me just the way I was and not try to change me. Love me openly for the whole world to
see. God heard my prayers and sent me to
Thomas. Thomas needed someone to love
him just the way he was too. No trying
to change who he is and I love him openly with all my heart. Together we have enjoyed a great journey so
far and our journeys continue every day.
We live to be with each other not to escape each other. We decided long ago we are TEAM G!
When
you’re on the right team the whole world is open before you.
